Leopard Gone Missing, Will Eat Humans

Kids stay inside, this is not the day for hopscotch. A rare Romanian Spotted leopard has mysteriously disappeared from the Durham Zoo overnight and could be anywhere according to officials.
The leopard, known as "Fluffy" is black with white spots, is almost 150 pounds and can reach speeds of up to 60 miles per hour. Although raised here on a diet of three chickens a day the breed has nearly reached a point of extinction in its home country of Romania due to its vicious tendency to swallow young children whole.
The zoo's chief biologist, Kitty Smith, adamantly told the press that this is not the case with Fluffy, saying she is "wonderful", "warm" and that there has never been an incident with this ten-year-old leopard.
Police Chief William Blair, however, does not share the same confidence due to the breeds reputation and because of the neighborhood which has schools and many young kids walking about.
"If possible, Fluffy will be shot with a tranquilizer gun. But if necessary, we will shoot to kill."
Allegedly the animal was last seen locked up in her cage at 9 p.m. Tuesday evening, which comes equipped with a secure alarm system but no alarm ever went off. Upon the opening of the zoo this morning at 7:30 a.m. she was nowhere to be found and nothing had been tampered with.
The scene is frantic here in Durham as people make a mad dash for safety, some sporting disgruntled looks and attitudes such as one man who had planned to spend a nice day with his daughter.
"I want my money back, and then I am never coming back here again. This place is out of control."
Kitty Smith warned the crowd to proceed with caution and that if anyone comes into contact with the animal no sudden movements should be made.
"We urge anyone who encounters Fluffy to get slowly to the ground and lay still. Be especially careful to avoid eye contact."
James Petronkis of Newmarket was taken off the property by police who admitted to pulling the fire alarm in order to get the zoo staff's attention. Visiting the zoo every morning, he is very familiar with Fluffy's habits and allegedly noticed that the usual nest of straw was non existent and in fact no straw was in the cage whatsoever.
"I told the guard and he said 'mind your own business'. So I pulled the fire alarm and that got their attention."
Police officers immediately arrived at the scene with high-powered rifles and holstered pistols in their possession, ready to stop Fluffy in her tracks if necessary.
"People were screaming," said James Petronkis,"It sounded like a thousand cars squealing their tires."
In addition to the local police, the New Hampshire State Police, state wildlife department and the National Guard are helping with the search mission. Fluffy has yet to be found nor are there any reported sightings.